Chaos in Moderation

Mango spinach salad. The mango is from my friends parents tree...

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:22:14 -0400

Mango spinach salad. The mango is from my friends parents tree in Jamaica.

A to Z - Lethargy May 4 2013

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:23:12 -0400

I got completely stuck and haven’t been able to write anything and have not been able to come up with a topic for L. It strikes me that lethargy is why I haven’t been able to collect my thoughts and get running on things I want to do like continue on the A to Z challenge.

I’ve been working long hours still dragging myself to the gym and working out and changing how I do things there because I’m not meeting my goals. While I am working the long hours I’m still haemorrhaging money and haven’t much to show for it. Which means I’m also have to massively change my spending habits. Along side that I’ve had stomach issues for over a year and a fairly chronic issue with sinus infections. Alongside my previously mentioned bouts with and ever depression it seem like I’m under a lot of stress which is making all of the above worse and producing a deepening feeling of lethargy.

I’m darned exhausted. Probably like most everyone else. Like the depression I’m trying to ride it out and make small positive steps and come through what I’m assuming is a short lived bout of exhaustion.

Which is heck for trying to write and get something done. On the other hand in a round about way at least I came to a topic for L.

First bike ride of 2013 went through High park down to the lake...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 13:46:43 -0400

First bike ride of 2013 went through High park down to the lake and up to Kensington Market.

A to Z - Kangaroo April 28 2013

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 13:24:02 -0400

http://www.torontozoo.com/

A to Z - Junction Craft Brewing Conductor Ale April 18 2013

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:48:00 -0400

It’s pretty awesome to be able to drop into Junction Craft Brewing to be able to try what’s on hand out of their incredibly well crafted beer. Of all the wonderful beer they make the first one one and their flagship beer the Conductor’s Craft Ale continues to be my favourite.

I tried it first at the Only Café’s Fall Beer Fest in 2011. (I was remembering winter but I think it was a cold evening). Shortly thereafter I began seeing it on tap and have it nearly every time I’m somewhere it’s pouring. Including several times shortly after leaving the brewery.

I would describe the Conductor’s Ale as a full bodied flavourful ale that leaves little to be desired except of course another pint.

I’ve enjoyed from taps throughout the city, including making it my carefully considered first pint of 2012 at Bar Volo. I’ve had a can that mysteriously arrived in my fridge and I’ve had it several times right at the brewery and fantastically am now able to bring some home from the brewery retail store. In fact I’m drinking some as I type this out, sigh while wearing a Junction craft T- shirt. I’m a big fan of the Conductor’s Craft Ale and super enthused about all the other awesome beer Junction Craft Brewing comes up with. I definitely suggest a visit.

http://www.junctioncraft.com/

A to Z - I April 28 2013

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:19:00 -0400

I have no idea what to write for I.

I : used to refer to ones self the writer or speaker.

A to Z - Hotdogs April 18 2013

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:59:00 -0400

Hotdogs are definitely one of my favourite trash foods. Not particularly good for you but grilled or from a street vender with a mass of toppings. Few things are more enjoyable.

A to Z - Gilda Radner April 11 2013

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:49:00 -0400

In 1978, Saturday Night Live was far and above the funniest thing on television. Each member of the ensemble cast dubbed the Not Ready for Prime Time Players was brilliantly funny. None of them were substantially funnier than any of the rest. Which was incredible considering Dan Akroyd, Chevy Chase, John Belushi and Gilda Radner were among the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players on SNL.
I’d say the inaugural Not Ready for Prime Time Players was the funniest thing TV has ever had to offer as everything that followed did just that. SNL shaped and television and comedy and that early era continues to do so today.
Gilda Radner was a well loved and sorely missed member of that incredible group. Gilda came from Detroit and made her way to Toronto and Second City comedy stages.
In the late seventies the Toronto Chapter of Second City was partially responsible for a boom in comedy Television. Spawning the Canadian Second City Television (SCTV) and being a big part of Saturday Night Live.
I stopped watching SNL quite awhile ago but the first twenty years of the program were more than worth seeing and those earliest years with Gilda Radner remain the best.
The Players would do one off sketches and would also have reoccurring characters. My favourite of Gilda’s was Emily Litella who would confusedly rant off on a Weekend update news story. Until finally someone could break through to her and explain her mistake. To which she would smile and say NEVERMIND.

**Had no luck finding a video link of Gilda as Emily Litella.Youtube is nigh useless these days and many of the other sites are US only.

Roseanne Roseannadanna another editorialist character was incredible and had the best hair on tv ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd_syuD-N_k&list=PL4A0F4BDB4994FD0F

She also did Baba Wawa a hilariously indecipherable take on Barbara Walters amongst a host of other characters and ridiculously funny one off sketches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQvRFrpKi-0

Post Saturday Night Live she’s appeared in films and a series of on and off Broadway shows. Which would have been awesome to attend.

*Candy Slice and the Slicers from Gilda Live

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMF7JrPHT74&list=PL4A0F4BDB4994FD0F

Throughout her life Gilda battle bulimia and was eventually stricken with ovarian cancer in the late eighties. During that time she worked sparingly and worked to grow awareness about detection and treatment of cancer.
Had her doctors inquired more deeply about her family history she might have had an earlier diagnosis and gotten her fight off to an earlier start. As both her mother and grandmother passed away from ovarian cancer as well.
In interviews she explained the cancer as belonging to a very exclusive club that she never wanted to be a part of.
After Gilda Radner passed away in 1989 Gilda’s Club was formed to help build understanding about cancer and detection. Gilda’s Club became a huge influence in improving the how cancer patients and their families were treated.
Here in Toronto Gilda continued to be a well loved personality and a huge influence to comedy. The road Second City Toronto resides on is Gilda Radner way.

As the decades go by the legendary performers who built what we embrace in the present are slowly forgotten. I hope that incredible people like Gilda Radner are never truly forgotten and new generations always remember to look back at who influenced the things that they love and are entertained by.
They just might discover new hero’s just as flawed and wonderfully human as themselves.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0705717/

http://www.gildasclubtoronto.org/

A to Z - The Flash April 12 2013

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:51:35 -0400

The Flash is a terrible superhero. I just don’t see the effectiveness of a so called hero in a long coat springing onto the scene and spreading his coat open to swing his goods about. While I question the usefulness of this in crime fighting I imagine the same trick won’t work very well twice and think of the children. The children should not be exposed to this sort of filth it’s just not….sorry what’ that? hmm? oh

He’s fully clothed, red and yellow spandex, oh and he’s called the Flash because he run fast and most of what we’d see is a flash of colour.
Oh I see.

Nevermind

A to Z - EWW April 11 2013

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:40:00 -0400

The internet has let me down.
While it often seems like the primary purpose of the net is to give us things to be disgusted by. For Example :

I haven’t found much in the way of explanation about the etymology of the word Eww.
Eww it seems is an onomatopoeic expression. Basically it’s a word or expression based off of the sounds that occur when we are disgusted or grossed out or disgusted by something. Much like a cats meow or bang for an impact or explosion.

A to Z - Depression April 11 2013

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:28:00 -0400

Last year D was on the same topic. Unlike C I think I’ll wander of to other things that start with as the years go by, Daleks, dogs,drinking,divinity,ducks and all sorts of other delicious topics.
I’ve been struggling through the year since I wrote perhaps the most heartfelt honest thing I’ve ever endeavoured. Body issues, irritability, exhaustion and all kinds of manifestations of anxiety.
I feel fortunate that my issues don’t manifest as substance addictions or soul crushing bouts of depression as they have in the past. My problems seem to have migrated into physical disabilities. My stomach has been troublesome and I’m almost always weary and full of assorted pains. Aside from the aches of pains my long ascension into being a curmudgeonly old man.
While I’m not often depressed in the “oh I’m sad about stuff ” sort of way. I do carry depression and have a lot of trouble getting trough my days. Sometimes getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day and even the most trivial tasks like tying my shoes are the most arduous tasks in the world.
It seems like I have a three day cycle of two or three days are difficult and the next two or three are more tolerable.
I think the reason I get the good days is I spend the more trying days pushing myself through. I try to look at what I can and look positively at whatever I can.
Some how I gain some momentum to make it through my days.
I would like to find a better way to do better than just toughing things out as it’s exhausting. I’ve tried different medications and therapy and had varying results. It be extraordinary to not spend most days feeling like I am swimming upstream.
At the moment I feel like I am out of ideas. I’ve not the desire to find more therapy at the moment nor were the last few times I was on medication helpful. In fact the last medication did my stomach in and I had more to deal with and continue to have trouble after a year. I don’t want to go the medical route at this point.
Despite my setbacks and predilections, I continue to suggest that people continue to explore options and look for combinations of therapy and medication that may help them out.

A to Z - Cookie April 10 2013

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:26:00 -0400

Now what starts with the letter C?
COOKIE starts with C!
Let’s think of other things that start with C…
uh…Who cares about the other things !

Ginger cookies are my favourite. I found this recipe and have modified it to make some of the best Ginger cookies I’ve ever come across. Dropping the sugar from a cup to a quarter cup and adding diced fresh ginger as well as the powdered ginger the recipe calls for.
So many other good cookies. I think as the years go by and I challenge myself with the alphabet blogging that the C should always be about cookies. Who cares about the other things that start with C. Well played Cookie Monster , Well played.

A to Z - The Bailey April 9 2013

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:10:00 -0400

This is Bailey. I brought her home from the shelter in November of 2011. She has the weirdest round yellow green eyes, she doesn’t like being picked up and sometimes she makes the saddest yowling sound. Bailey adores being brushed and scratched and will snuggle up against your hand or brush.
For the first while she was very apprehensive about being close. After a few months she decided it was ok to be near and would crawl onto the bed or lay down a few feet away from me. This morning after a year and a half of getting used to each other she was asleep against my chest and seemed pretty comfortable. When I got up she followed me through my morning routine (especially the important parts like changing her food and water) brushing against and around my legs as we went.
My other cat had passed away. Partially feeling guilty about how little time I tend to spend at home I wasn’t going to get another one. Then one day I looked at the Humane society web page which frankly felt a bit like online dating. I found Bailey and even bookmarked her picture. She was gorgeous but a large cat and about four and a half unlikely to be adopted as people prefer kittens or a little sleek animal. A few months had passed and I saw that Bailey was still there.
I went up to the cat shelter picked her up. While she didn’t seem to like being picked up when I talked to her and told her what was happening she plopped herself down in front of me while the paperwork was being processes.
The first few months were difficult. I was so used to my old cat with her boundless affection and unflappable demeanour. This new strange round eyed animal kept to herself and didn’t come near me and wasn’t happy about being touched. I felt neglected and unwanted and wasn’t sure how to deal with that. So I just offered her consistent attention. Scratching, brushing and talking to her. Eventually, Bailey came around and we are quite happy house mates with her pressing her nose to mine the moment I wake up most mornings.

http://www.torontohumanesociety.com/

The Grind house for a fantastic Americano and raspberry...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 12:36:18 -0400

The Grind house for a fantastic Americano and raspberry smoothie.

A to Z - The Albatross April 9 2013

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:51:00 -0400

The albatross around my neck is made up of many things, anxieties, pressures, perception and attitude.I take on too much. I want to do a lot of things and wind up accomplishing very little. I over work myself and don’t know where to continue with or often even where to start a project. I don’t take the chance to build up a hobby or interest for fear of letting myself down by finding out I can not do something and wearing myself out in the process.

Things I would like to accomplish, like getting my drivers license become a mess of anxieties and I become overwhelmed by the expenses and time and distraction of going through the hoops to be licensed. Nearly every year I’ve made it a goal and it’s slipped away as I get overwhelmed and distracted by other issues and interests which themselves often get swallowed into insecurities.

Artistic and culinary ventures fall to much the same pattern. I’d like to build myself into a better photographer and learn to and proper cameras and lenses for myself. I’ve had the inclination to learn to play guitar and I’ve been wanting to brew beer and learn about the process and the anxieties creep in. It seems that my mind doesn’t learn in the way that makes these wonderful things work in my head. I don’t understand the associated language and have never been taught in a way to teach myself how to grasp the lexicon of these things which I want and perhaps even need to do.

The fear of failure, the fear of spending money on these things and not getting a return that is consistent with my emotional needs makes me paralyzed and unable to grasp or for the most part form goals. I don’t wish to engage in a hobby or career or any pursuit for fear that it is the wrong one that I am wasting that ever precious bit of time I have on the wrong thing. I let fear of failure distract me from success. Even the small success of giving a pursuit an honest try. I may find that I’m not as interested in things as I thought or I may find that needed passion to push through setbacks and begin to grasp the language and techniques that make up fields I am interested in.

The weight around my neck has manifested itself in my perception of the world. In my attitude towards everything and my inability to understand where I fit in. How to fit in with out feeling like I have shut myself off. I feel assaulted by our gauche mainstream media. I think it’s ok to think a lot of what’s in front of us sucks, as long as you have things you think are great and you find a way to not oppress the people who do like things you may not. Such as mainstream television. Unfortunately I’m afraid that people generally like mainstream and pop culture because they can be included and don’t have to think. I can’t do that and I fear their is little place for me. I want to be ok and to think the way I do. I don’t want to hurt others by doing so and that’s happened far too often.

Slowly I’ve worked at myself, living with lifelong depression, living with many poor decisions and actions. It feels like to be a better person, means I have to be the better person. I think alongside the fear and anxiety of success it’s that ugly truth. It’s that “oh so I have to fucking know everything and I always have to be the responsible one and if that’s the case why haven’t I been afforded the opportunities others have and the dull minded success”.

The Albatross is made of many things. Misplaced ego, anxieties, fear of not being able to do things, massive anxieties about money and an attitude that makes me a right irritable bastard at times. It’s an albatross I’d like to see fly and I hope that recognizing the weight on my neck, seeing my perceptions for what they and ever so slowly altering my attitude in a positive manner that could happen. I may find the way to grow into the roles I want to fill and realize that maybe in some cases I may not want to be the person I want to be.

I had thought about doing the A to Z challenge for a bit and hemmed and hawed about it and almost didn’t out of apathy and all the other anxieties mentioned above. Last year I had slightly mocked the concept by doing it on my own and going Z to A. I had a good time with it and produced some of my best writing. This year I was going to go into it properly and join the official online group and follow the rules and go off exploring other blogs and perhaps even make an acquaintance or two. I dragged and held myself back and missed the cut off to be part of the experiment. I had lost a fair bit of the drive to do Chaos in Moderation and fell behind on my usual posting. I’m going to go along on the A to Z challenge on my own despite being a week behind. The concept is to get on the listing and alongside many other bloggers post everyday in April except Sundays using the corresponding letter of the alphabet to decide that days topic. So the Albatross should have been posted on April 1^st. Next year I will join in on the official blog challenge. It’s a great writing exercise and an interesting way to go outside my usual comfort levels as far as entertaining other people’s creativity and ideas.

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

Coffeepunk - Indie Coffee Passport round up 2012/2013

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:09:20 -0400

The indie Coffee Passport has been a fun adventure throughout the city. You pay for the pass and get a drink at each of the thirty participating cafés. It’s a great deal and it gets you out and exploring different neighbourhoods throughout the city or I guess your city as Ottawa and now Montreal have joined in. This is the second Toronto run of the Passport and I went to each shop and blogged about my impressions of each. I actually managed to hit every stop on the 2011/2012 pass. It was a lot of work and I had a couple of weekend s where I drank way to much coffee as most of my indie coffee adventuring had to be done on the weekends. This time I did come up a bit short I missed Barista Espresso Bar in Liberty Village and the Only Café out on the Danforth. I do like the Only though mostly because they have a an outstanding craft beer selection on the bar side of the establishment and you can happily wander over and find a comfy chair on the café side. Below is a round up of the café’s and what I had to say about them.

http://www.indiecoffeepassport.com/toronto/index.html

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/31694662871/coffeepunk-balluchon-raymond-inc-221-sorauren-ave

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/31693930095/coffeepunk-joes-250-sorauren-ave-september-16-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/31692428983/coffeepunk-cafe-260-260-richmond-st-e-september-15

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/31690301541/coffeepunk-toronto-coffee-company-685-lansdowne-ave

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33938300237/coffeepunk-redline-coffee-and-espresso-bar-october-13

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33937748094/coffeepunk-fahrenheit-coffee-october-13-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33936995434/coffeepunk-monarch-tavern-october-9th-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33935515660/coffeepunk-csi-coffee-pub-october-9-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33934643915/coffeepunk-full-of-beans-october-6-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33039626397/coffeepunk-rise-espresso-october-6-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33036614169/coffeepunk-el-cafecito-october-6-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33035530896/coffeepunk-t-a-n-coffee-september-29-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33032809804/coffeepunk-cafe-novo-september-27-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/33033937313/coffeepunk-cafe-unwind-september-29-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/36030622194/coffeepunk-merchants-of-green-coffee-november-18-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/36030064016/coffeepunk-si-espresso-bar-november-18-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/39885167124/moonbean-coffee-december-15-2012

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/43403209756/coffeepunk-the-green-grind-february-09-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42971679747/coffeepunk-ideal-coffee-february-2-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42719357360/coffeepunk-lazy-daisys-cafe-january-20-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42725123670/coffeepunk-grinder-coffee-january-20-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42717867600/coffeepunk-the-abbott-january-19-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42714701002/coffeepunk-the-black-canary-january-19-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/42710679732/coffeepunk-alternative-grounds-333-roncesvalles-ave

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/44899177367/coffeepunk-noir-coffee-and-tea-march-3-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/47402921165/coffeepunk-the-grind-house-march-17-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/47184130395/coffeepunk-the-mad-bean-march-16-2013

http://chaosinmoderation.tumblr.com/post/47403758208/coffeepunk-i-deal-coffee-march-23-2013

Coffeepunk - I Deal Coffee March 23 2013

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:13:37 -0400

Previously, I went out to the Ideal Coffee in Kensington Market and was impressed with the attempt to have the décor match the neighbourhood
a concept that most stores really ignore making a lot of areas interchangeable and bland especially in the suburbs. I definitely applaud I Deal Coffee for once again
making the attempt to have their 162 Ossington Avenue store blend with the feel of the area they inhabit. Ossington is a hub of reclaimed spaces. Shops of yesteryear turned into cafés and bars usually with a vintage feel and aesthetic. well accomplished here with walls painted and stripped to look like vintage wall paper, neat furniture that’s nicely worn away by use. Also the huge windows shower the shop with tonnes natural light and bring out a glow in the vintage appeal. Although it can get quite warm in the shower of sunlight.
I went off the beaten track and went with a cafe Mocha. I don’t ever take sugar in my coffee so it didn’t work for me but I can see someone who does like their coffee sweet and chocolatey revelling in it. The chocolate banana muffin was pretty delicious. Spring is upon us and the patio outside will get some great use in the coming months I’m sure I’ll be out there from time to time.

http://www.indiecoffeepassport.com/toronto/index.html

http://idealcoffee.ca/

Coffeepunk - The Grind House March 17 2013

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:03:00 -0400

I’ve picked up my produce and have enjoyed a sun drenched walk through Kensington Market and have come to one of the final stops on the Indie Coffee Passport.
The Grind House is at 281 Augusta Avenue and is a great little coffee house. Coffee, tea’s, smoothies baked goodies and other food are for sale and all looks quite good.

The shop itself is comfortable, they opted for matching tables and chairs along side a comfortable L shaped bench rather than nigh typical reclaimed furniture route. I’m also fond of the window seating at the front of the store as it provides some excellent people watching as people make their way through the market.

I also love the logo that’s on their shirts and will pick one up sometime. A coffee cup over crossbones bringing to mind the other side of their name slasher or horror films ground out on a tiny budget.

I’m looking forward to dropping back in and trying some of Grind House’s non coffee fare and picking up a shirt.

***sitting here editing this post in my Grind House shirt. The coffee was even better than I remembered and I think this is my new favourite coffee spot in the market.

http://thegrindhouseto.com/?page_id=74

http://www.indiecoffeepassport.com/toronto/index.html

Hi Michael, I'm putting together an ad for Kilannan Brewing in Owen Sound for my regional golf magazine and I was wondering whether I could use the Kilannan photo posted on your website in the ad. I tried to take my own pic but it didn't turn out nearly as well as yours. I can give you a photo credit if you'd want that. Steve Harron, Publisher/Editor, Grey-Bruce Golf 519-374-5759

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:48:26 -0400

Hi Steve, I’m not sure when you sent this but if you’d still like to use the photo you are welcome to do so. If you wouldn’t mind giving me photo credit it would be appreciated. Thank you

Michael Hornall

Coffeepunk - The Mad Bean March 16 2013

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:04:00 -0400

The Mad Bean is a charming pleasant space with enjoyable coffee. It feels alot more organic than most of its neighbours. Out at 519 Eglington West the Mad Bean feels out of place with it’s interior consisting of bare brick, chandeliers and clever art on the walls. It seems more like a place you’d find in the west end. Perhaps Parkdale, my neighbourhood of Bloordale or maybe the burgeoning Junction. On Eglington West it feels parachuted in to a land of detachment and blaise boutique stores.
That being said, it is nice to know of a dependable cafe no matter where you are in the city and the Mad Bean is surely that a fine little coffee house no matter where it was situated.

http://www.indiecoffeepassport.com/toronto/index.html

http://www.themadbean.com/